"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!" I never intended to collect badges. Really.

March 8, 2018

#238

Gentle reader,

IMPORTANT: This article and the items shown and/or described are not nor have they ever been worn, nor will they ever be worn in public nor brandished in any way. Impersonating a local or federal official of any kind is a serious offense and should never be considered or attempted by anyone.

 

It all started with a joke badge my wife bought for me. I believe it was a catalog company named, U.S. Cavalry. 

 Yes, that is a genuine badge and ID for an "OFFICIAL UNITED STATES TAXPAYER".  

In case you can't read it: "HONORARY MEMBER ETERNAL REVENUE SERVICE THIS IS TO CERTIFY (Insert your name here on the line, I mistakenly signed it) IS PRIVILEGED TO PAY HIS FULL SHARE OF ALL FEDERAL, STATE, COUNTY AND CITY TAXES. MAKING IT POSSIBLE FOR THESE GOVERNING BODIES TO CARRY ON THEIR FUNCTIONS INCLUDING THE LEVYING OF MORE AND MORE TAXES. IN RETURN, MEMBERS OF ETERNAL REVENUE SERVICE ARE ENTITLED TO AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF SYMPATHY. ASPIRIN AND TRANQUILIZERS."

I used to keep my work ID in the window in front of this "official" ID. Reaching in to pull my ID out when needed caused the paper to wear in that one edge. I kept the wallet folded so the badge was hidden when showing my ID to the Special Police. I have never seen another one of these and it has a 1972 copyright on the paper. But then, I've never looked for another one either.

For a while, I collected past and present U.S. Military uniforms. A year or so ago, I did a photo shoot of myself wearing each of them as well as other shirts mentioned in this article. I did a blog article about it. 

In the days before 9/11 happened, one could buy all kinds of official looking things from U.S. Cavalry and other catalogs. I have a FEDERAL AGENT T-shirt that I never wear in public, but it looks just like a real one. 

National Geographic Society's television channel has a show called BORDER WARS. We became fans of it and I found on eBay fake U.S. Border Patrol green T-shirts. But, I have also found genuine ones. One is blue and has a representation of their badge on the front and on the back, U.S. BORDER PATROL and a quote from Ernest Hemingway, something about hunting men. Again, I never wear it outside the house. The other one is black and is from their SRT or something like that and is from "El Centro Sector". The sellers in both cases made the same point that I did at the top of the article that these are for collectors and do not imply any official powers. I also found and bought a prop badge, and PROP is what the seller called it:

Now, ICE: Immigration & Customs Enforcement, like CBP: Customs & Border Protection, are BOTH part of Homeland Security. But they are not the same and only work together in certain circumstances. So, aside from this having ICE's shield on it, they are NOT Border Patrol and this would not fool anyone. It sits in a drawer with the rest of these.

The various NCIS  television series are fun to watch as long as one suspends their knowledge of police procedures and any knowledge of U.S. military operations. One easily gained prop via eBay is an NCIS badge. If you watch the show the badges are all gold, smaller than most without other colors or embellishments. Thanks to eBay, I bought one and here it is:

(It is sometimes difficult to photograph shiny objects. When I looked at the photos of it, one shot with a flash, and one without, it was hard to see details in either. But this, non-flash one is clearer.)

Here's the catch, real NCIS badges have colors added to them as ALL real badges do:

As you can see, if I could find these images, Chinese metal working people could find them too. Below is one of their shoulder patches.

On the converse, I bought what the seller touted as official, an NCIS hat, and in my search I found the same logo as the hat has:

As you can see the badge on the hat is much simpler. I also was able to buy an official Border Patrol patch, which I sewed to a green hat:

Guide Gear, another catalog company that sells all kinds of outdoors stuff and military surplus things were selling official CBP hats and my wife bought one for me. I do not have a photo of it, however. 

As someone born in the 1950's we watched The Andy Griffith Show every week. We have been streaming the entire eight seasons on Netflix. So, I decided to see if I could find a Sheriff of Mayberry badge on eBay. They have them.  As eBay is wont to do, they show other things related, and to my surprise, there are all kinds of official looking U.S. government badges, sold as props or "cosplay" by Chinese sellers on eBay. Sure enough, one can get: FBI, U.S. Marshal, CIA, ICE, Homeland Security and all kinds of military ones too. They are not as cheap as the NCIS badges go for, however. So, I bid on a Border Patrol one and the other day it finally got here from China:

Last night, I researched CBP badges and this is exactly like them. A little background on CBP and their various uniforms. The PATROL agents, which is what this badge replicates, wear olive green military-style uniforms and cloth hats. Always, they long sleeves no matter how hot it is. The agents that MAN (and WOMAN) the Border checkpoints wear blue uniforms that also look like military fatigues. Their hats have CBP embroidered in large gold letters on the front and "U.S. CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION" embroidered around the opening on the back of the caps. BUT, their titles AND their badges are different. Watch Border Wars, it is informative and very interesting.

Now, there is one badge that I have not shown to you yet. I bought it last Saturday at a huge flea market show for $25.00. It is genuine and was never issued, so I have kept it in the plastic it came in from the factory.

Every police agency that is involved in Presidential Inauguration ceremonies in Washington, D.C., gets a special badge that they wear for only two weeks and get to keep. This one is from 1997 and Bill Clinton's swearing in. Pretty cool, yes? Well, that's it, my small badge collection. None of which will I ever wear. Remember:
IMPORTANT: This article and the items shown and/or described are not nor have they ever been worn, nor will they ever be worn in public nor brandished in any way. Impersonating a local or federal official of any kind is a serious offense and should never be considered or attempted by anyone.

Thanks for looking, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my humble blog. Pageviews are approaching 150,000! I still can't believe it.

Scott

March 8, 2018